Tuesday, November 3, 2020

Very Superstitious, Writing's on the Wall

 "Don't look at your Amazon Prime," Kim said. "I ordered your anniversary present on your account."

"Oh, okay," I said, thinking I just wouldn't open up the website. Unlike Kim, who claimed to like surprises but then scoured the house like Nancy Drew, claiming that I always left a paper trail, I actually enjoyed the not knowing. Plus, this was year fifteen, so maybe I'd be getting a gift worthy of the one-third of my life spent together. 

Unfortunately, my new iPhone updated to version 14 and I now get updates of nearly everything from begging candidates to upcoming packages on my opening screen. I didn't even need to search for it. The message was right there waiting for me. Out for delivery today: Women's Citizen EcoDrive.

A watch? I was flabbergasted. When Kim and I first met I had a lengthy discussion with her, confessing my fears of watch giving and how it always leads a couple to break up. Everybody knew about it. We agreed we would NEVER do that. Why risk something so severe when rings and other jewelry are equally as pleasing? Plus, I loved the watch I had bought as a graduation present to myself twenty something years earlier. It was perfect and no other watch would ever be the one.

So when I realized my anniversary present was indeed a watch I was a little disappointed, not because of the watch itself, but mostly because I thought after fifteen years Kim didn't know me. I thought she forgot about our conversation and hurriedly picked some quick gift while cruising the internet. I spent the next few hours thinking of how I could pretend that I liked it because I am a terrible liar.

But before Kim handed me the gift, she gave me a hand written letter. "Read this first," she said, as I sat down with my first cup of coffee. 

In her letter she said she knew I was superstitious but did her own research of what to give for fifteen year anniversaries. The modern fifteen year gift is glass or a watch, symbolizing the time we've had and the time we plan to have in the future. Watches are a meaningful gift that is a way to tell someone that you care about them and want to be in every second of their life. Her letter ended with, "You and I have that magic that will debunk any superstitions. I'm ready to get matching tattoos, I'm ready to travel on Friday the 13th, and I'm not afraid to gift a watch to you."

How could I be disappointed in those sweet words? She had thought of a meaningful gift. Maybe stepping on a crack wouldn't break my mother's back, maybe a broken mirror was just that, something broken. I guess I could be wrong about superstitions but I'm still going to make sure I look everyone in the eye during a toast because seven years of bad sex is just too much to risk.

Just for the record, I do love my anniversary gift, it is brilliant and beautiful watch perfect for dress up occasions. When we do something fancy Kim can wear the new American Eagle jeggings and ankle boots I got her for our anniversary. Just for giggles, I looked up the worst things you can give as a present. A watch was not on the bad gift list but you know what was in the top three of worst gifts? Clothes! Well isn't that the pot calling the kettle black. I guess I'll be eating my words from now on!


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