Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Number two? Lucky you.

I don't know if it was the full summer of sun scorching or the fact our internal clockwork is messed up because school starts twenty minutes later this year, but even after four weeks in session the Zajac family can't seem to get into the proper flow of fall.

Yesterday morning I was thrilled as I peeked around the corner and saw Senia Mae completely dressed and fixing her hair thirty minutes before we had to leave. Thinking that all technical difficulties had been avoided, I took the rare occasion to focus merely on getting myself ready for work. Big Mistake.

After finishing my hair and makeup, packing up her lunch, and filling my Yeti to the rim with piping hot coffee, I headed around the corner towards Senia Mae's room.

"Senia Mae, it's 7:45... time to leave for school," I called out happily.

"Just a minute," I heard in a muffled voice.

"Where are you?" I asked.

"In the bathroom."

"Well honey it's time to go," I added as I turned the knob on the bathroom door only to find my daughter sitting completely naked on the toilet, shorts, shirt, shoes and socks scattered across the aqua colored tile. Trying not to let her see my sudden flare of anger as I realized that ONCE AGAIN she wasn't ready, I faked my empathetic voice. "What's going on? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I just had to go the bathroom," she said.

"So you're not sick?"

"Nope," she said. My immediate thought was why she hadn't gone to the bathroom twenty minutes earlier when I heard her singing and playing with her new LOL doll.

"Senia Mae," I said trying to calm the irritation in my voice, "You were all ready for school thirty minutes ago. If you had to suddenly go to the bathroom, why is it that you came in fully dressed and now you are completely naked?"

"Mama," she said, looking so hurt that I didn't just automatically know the answer, "I had to go POOP!"

Some people have the ability to remain clothed AND have a bowel movement, I whispered to myself as I shut the door in defeat. Apparently that is not the case with us. So instead of a stress free morning we ended up speeding to school, screeching into the parking lot, and landing right in front of the double doors at 8:10... just as the bell rang. Maybe we'll have better luck next week!