Friday, March 23, 2018

Bang Your Head...The Princess Has Awoken

In my forty-four years I have learned that there are only two types of people in the morning: the ones who are morning people and the others who are clearly NOT morning people. These two types of personalities can happily coexist but it does require a delicate push/pull dance from both sides. Clearly in our home today the morning people took over the entire dance and grabbed the microphones.

I'm not going to say she's a slug... but Senia Mae, like myself, is NOT a morning person. She moves at the pace of a turtle until she is completely awake. This morning Kim had the pleasure of rising the princess, of which the first three gentle attempts were a complete failure.

Mommy Kim, with her morning person ingenuity, thought giving Senia Mae a little extra incentive might work. She hit the volume on her phone up as loud as it would go and started blaring, "Bang Your Head... Metal health will drive you MAD" by Quiet Riot and secretly snuck out of the room.

A few minutes later a lower lip out, pouty child sat on the kitchen bar stool angrily glaring at her now cold scrambled eggs. Kim was dancing around the kitchen, ignoring the grumpy lump sitting on the stool who now was so mad that there was a tear welling up in the corner of her right eye. Kim had now moved on to AC/DC's Thunderstruck, trying to mimic Angus Young's little leg shuffle as she grabbed the peanut butter for Senia Mae's lunch.

"I DON'T LIKE TO WAKE UP TO ROCK N' ROLL," Senia Mae grumbled, in a voice similar to the father on The Christmas Story when he said "You used all the glue on purpose!" I froze in my tracks hearing those words, for I, like Eric Clapton, have a rock n' roll heart. This clearly did not affect Kim because she continued to happily skip around the kitchen.

"Young Lady," I said in a mock authoritarian voice, "It's a long way to the top if you want to rock n' roll..." Senia Mae looked at me totally baffled but before she could respond with any more anti-rock semantics I forked a piece of syrup drenched waffle into her mouth. "I'm sorry, but this is a rock n' roll home." I turned around so she wouldn't see me laughing as I was trying to lighten her mood.

Just then Kim pulled up the last scene from Jack Black's School of Rock. "Just look at these kids'" I said as they're playing It's A Long Way To The Top for the battle of the bands while rolling the credits. The camera then shifts to the School of Rock sign that reads: After School Program 3:00-4:30 Rock On... 4:30-6:00 Advanced Rock. Senia Mae took the phone into her room while she got dressed and came out singing "Shoo be doo be doo bee" with the back up singers.

"Now THAT'S a better attitude," I said as I kissed her forehead and guided her out the door. Parenting can just be so HARD sometimes!

Since we got the whole rock n' roll thing settled I wonder if she'd like to wake up to a drum solo Monday morning? Guess I'd better ask first! All you parents out there... how do you wake up your sleeping zombies? Drop me a line, I'd love to know!