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Thursday, December 29, 2016

Hopping on the Birthday Scales

I want to thank everyone for sending birthday wishes my way yesterday. As lovely as growing another year older and wiser is, I realize that it is not nearly as fun as when I was younger, having all-girl sleepovers and night sledding parties at Trull Brook Golf Course. One of my special presents this year was having to renew my driver's license.

My last experience with the Department of Motor Vehicles allowed me to choose the ten year renewal program, meaning the picture taken was of me in my early thirties. My face was a little brighter, all lit up with new love. My skin was a little tighter, my hair was a little darker. I didn't have to ask them to angle the picture from the top down because having a double chin wasn't an issue then.

All of the other vital information was transferred from when I first got my license at sixteen years old. That has always been fine with me because even though an officer of the law may question my weight calculations, I would rather someone still think I am one hundred and fifteen pounds instead of whatever I happen to be that week. I do pride myself on being an honest person, but this figure I didn't seem important enough for me to go out of my way to change. Until yesterday.

Since I had the ten year renewal plan, I missed many of the new rules and regulations regarding proof of citizenship, proof of address, proof of marriage, and proof of weight... WHAT? Well they didn't actually make me jump on the scales but I was appalled that after twenty five years I was actually going to have to be more truthful about my size. If I ever get pulled over, it's not like they are going to pick me up and test my weight. Yes, I was one hundred and fifteen pounds twenty five years ago, just not recently.

This time they actually asked for my current weight on the form. I felt guilty about blatantly lying, since I am a Christian and all, so I added twenty five more pounds to the original calculation. I'm sure with all of the treadmill running I plan on doing in the next few months I'll be getting pretty close to that figure I put on the form. But, since it's my birthday week, I'll just sit down tonight with a glass of wine and piece of cake and leave the working out for another day!