Friday, April 10, 2015

Sleep deprivation at its finest.. It's a hard night's day!

There is not a single concealing cover-up in the whole makeup industry potent enough to hide the bags that I am trying to hide this morning. On the forefront of one of my busiest weekends of the spring, I was awakened every hour on the hour by a daughter who was announcing the latest actions of our Cocker Spaniel who, although I wasn't aware, was having "trail through the house" attacks of diarrhea. This was last night's schedule:

9:00 Senia Mae went to bed after having a large sweet tea at the Mexican restaurant... Big mistake.

10:15 I hear footsteps at the side of my bed, "Can you blow my nose?" she asks. She is sent back to bed.

10:45 Through my closed eyes I hear the frogs croaking outside but then in the distance a human voice. I get up to ensure our home has no intruders only to find Senia Mae singing at the top of her lungs in bed.

"Close your eyes and go to sleep," I demand.

12:00 I am suddenly awakened a third time by someone screaming, "Momma, Luna is pooping in the hallway! And she peed on the rug, too!" While cleaning up the mess in the semi-dark I am wondering why she is awake at midnight.

"Thank you for the report. Now go to sleep," I say with my irritated voice.

12:45 Again footsteps at my side of the bed. "I have a boo-boo." This time I didn't respond, just point at her bedroom like the parent in that Dr. Seuss book, Marvin K. Mooney Will You Please Go NOW!

1:30 Standing in our bedroom doorway Senia Mae announced, "Momma, Luna pooped again and I stepped in it." By this time I am beyond tired and well past irritated.

"Why are you out of bed in the first place? If you were in your bed you wouldn't have stepped in poop." Somehow stepping in the poop must have made her realize how tired she was because she finally fell asleep soon after the foot washing.


This morning I am dragging myself out of bed while contemplating the events of last night. After my second strong cup of coffee and a long, steamy shower, I rush out the door fifteen minutes later than I should have. Of course, I am stuck behind a slow traveling Buick driven by an elderly man wearing a Tam O'Shanter cap. As I pull up behind him at the stop sign I notice his bumper sticker:
I nearly spilled my coffee all over my lap because I was laughing so hard. It may be the funniest bumper sticker I have ever seen and oh so appropriate for a morning like this!
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