Thursday, October 30, 2014

Getting my mind out of the gutter


This is a scene from my living room, naked Barbies, bodies as well as clothing askew, looking as if they had a exceptionally good time last night. My four year old asks me, "Well, Mama, do you know HOW to play Barbies?" "What about little dolls? Do you know how to play little dolls?"

"Of course I know how to play Barbies!" I said. "This 1975 Dreamhouse with the awesome yellow elevator used to be mine when I was a little girl!" I squatted down and found a dazzling blue dress to shove Cinderella's skinny thigh down into.

"Here, Mama," Senia Mae says as she hands me this tiny beige part.


"What is that?" I ask her, my mind immediately blaming those Barbie sluts. "Where did you find that?" Certainly Mattel and Disney did not attach any protruding parts...I glanced over at Kristoff. He was completely flat in the front and the only one fully clothed, winter boots and everything.

"I don't know what it is...I just found it on the floor," Senia Mae said.

"You really have NO idea where this came from?" I asked one more time, trying not to become completely aghast that my innocent four year old picked a phallic symbol off of a Barbie.

"Oh, wait...I remember, that is the piece of the paddle that broke off Prince Eric's boat," she says as she plucks the piece out of my hand and walks into the other room.

Of course...it was Eric's paddle not a peter. Mama, get your mind out of the gutter!
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