Tuesday, April 30, 2013

In memory of Senia I. Doldt, my Gram


Five years ago today marks the worst day of my life, the day my grandmother tragically died after a fall down the stairs. Even though that day pinnacled my life's biggest fear, how to live the rest of mine without her, I am proud to say that in the time between then and now there have been hundreds of the best days of my life. That fateful day changed my life and my attitude forever. Our beautiful daughter, Senia Mae, rightfully named in honor of her great grandmother, Senia I. Doldt, was born in 2010 and has brought so much joy and happiness into our lives. Every day I feel as if a piece of Gram is within her and thus with me, from her love of apple pie, raisin toast, and the color purple, to her insistence to stay outside just a little bit longer to smell the flowers. I can't imagine receiving a more precious gift than the one that came in the form of that little girl.

Early this morning Senia Mae and I were out walking around the yard in our pajamas. I thought about this day and how it has affected my life and felt as if I should do something that would make Gram feel present. Of course the first thing that came to mind was filling the trench in the driveway with large stones. The Savonens (Gram, as well as her father, David) were all about redirecting water flow with trenching, boulders, and ditching, why it was what he did for a living as well as build bridges. I remember countless conversations between Gram and I about how to get a gully working just right or how to address water issues. It was what she loved. The least I could do was work on the unsightly cavernous rivets forming in our gravel driveway.

We walked up and down the driveway together, Senia Mae and I, toting stones from here to there, digging a little and basically just keeping whats ours in the family. I don't think I could have honored her in a more appropriate way. I smiled looking over our accomplishment wondering if Senia Mae could feel it too. It was happiness radiating from my heart, she was with us.

I think of you and miss you every day, Gram, but I always feel that you are with me in everything I do. Love, Kara
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