Tuesday, January 8, 2013

keeping up with the tender moments


Someone recently said to me "Cherish these times with Senia Mae, they go away almost like a whirlwind." The thought saddened me, for I tend to be the type who wants to freeze each moment in time, keeping it it a constant still shot for the rest of forever. I know, however, that freezing time is not possible and I am actively trying to take these words of infinite wisdom and apply them to my crazy, hectic everyday life. Sometimes its hard to keep all of my jobs in balance..I want to make sure I remember the most important job of all.

The other morning Kim had to leave before five a.m to get down to the airport, meaning that I had to take Senia Mae into work with me at eight thirty. It has been said that I have two speeds in the morning....slow and stop. This particular morning I was doing better than average at my slow pace, peering away from the alarm clock and out the window, knowing that I had exactly one hour to rise, shower, get myself dressed and primped, as well as dressing and primping Senia Mae, getting her fed breakfast, and actually getting both of us out the door and into the car. One hour. Seemed plenty long enough as my slow blinks got a little slower, feeling the new velvety flannel sheet grazing my cheek. Something deep inside me said.."don't move, stay here" My responsible self began throwing one leg outside of the covers into the startling cold morning air as I heard the sound of light thudding footsteps entering the room. Before I saw anything I felt her stuffed bunny bounce off of my head, as she tossed several other stuffed animals(goat, baby seal, and a purple fish with big lips)as well as a naked baby into the empty side of the bed. Crawling into bed, her sleepy little puffed eyes looked at me as if she were surprised that I was actually getting up.

"Where are you going, Momma?" she questioned innocently. I gently brushed the hair out of her face and pulled her close to me. "We have to hurry up and get to work this morning." She looked at me with disappointment. "But I wanted to snuggle..." I exhaled deeply as I struggled with the dilemma. In my world very few things take precedence over snuggling in the morning. But this was already going to be a hectic morning, we'd never get there in time, patients would be waiting on me, we really don't have time for this today...she wants to spend more quality time with me, do you really want to blow off your child when she needs you, it would feel so good to just lay here a few more minutes, snug, warm, cozy...what difference would a few more minutes make? The struggle was over. She crawled into the crook of my arm and we snuggled loosely, gazing out the window at the winter morning, enjoying each others company on a morning that thankfully I was not too busy to pass up.

I realized then that those kind of moments are the ones to remember, so much more than the picture perfect posed moments that are expected and deliberate. You never know how many moments there will be and how many opportunities you may pass up because you are too busy to take that extra time. My hair and makeup may not have looked as good as it could have, but it was good enough, and the tender moment spent with my daughter made rushing to the office worth every frenzied second. That advice was well taken and I hope that I will continue to remember.

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