Monday, June 14, 2010

Losing sleep


Last night was, by far, the toughest night of my life. Like nothing I had ever imagined, my heart ached so deeply as my left eye just slightly opened about every five minutes to check....yes...the baby monitor! We placed Senia Mae in her own room for the first full night and I thought I was absolutely going to die! As if birth wasn't hard enough, that little person being so much farther away then my womb, then having her in the bassinet feeling similar to reaching down a mile stretch of road, and now this??? I just don't know that I can handle any more separation! The worst part, she didn't even notice, which by most opinions would be a very good , healthy sign. To me was the beginning of the rest of my life's many heartbreaks of motherhood. And I was one of those people who secretly made fun of women who got so completely consumed in their children! It is a mean, cruel world!!