Friday, February 5, 2010

Am I a porsche or a VW Beetle?

Yesterday at the obgyn they explained that my dilation process can go two ways - and to them either is fine, you can either be a Porsche and get there fast or you can be a VW Beetle and get there at a slow steady rate. I think it is very apparent that I am not the Porsche, and the million calls we keep receiving saying "No baby?" - we have not forgotten announce the birth it just has not happened yet!! :) The good news is that they told me at the office yesterday that they had never heard of a baby staying in utero permanently. I'm sure I'll sleep better now!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Prego on the Go

It's gotten to the point now where my patients, even though it is said with love, address me "You're still here?" on a daily basis. I was certain that I would already be on maternity leave and have discovered that telling a first time mother that she is ONE centimeter dilated is as mean and cruel as telling a child that Santa skipped over their house.

Thank God I'm still working, it's the only activity that allows me to actually think about something else and not obsess about my over-ripening bundle that is not too eager to enter the New World! I've heard a thousand times in the last week, enjoy the last of your alone time, and while I am totally convinced that this IS true, I can't possibly enjoy this time because I have turned into a crazed, phsychotic, hormonal lunatic who feels like Prissy just sitting on the egg. Certainly you remember her, she was the skinny, nerdy chicken in Foghorn Leghorn's roost that all of the other hens made fun of because she couldn't produce!

I have now decided that I am going to become Prego on the Go, a task oriented severely pregnant woman who completes tasks without obsessing about uncontrollable circumstance! If you have any tasks for Prego on the Go, please let her know, I don't want to say we are desperate....but we could be!

Monday, February 1, 2010

Ready, Aim...ok, Ready, Aim...No, Really,I'm Ready

Even though I advise people on a daily basis that the body has it's own time frame and healing does come from the inside out, this can't possibly apply to me! This baby is supposed to be here by now! By the way I am as big as a house, waddling with every step, and can hardly sit due to the enormous watermelon that is sitting on my pelvis, and while I am saying these things out loud, I hope that I am not giving my unborn child some kind of complex that will require therapy later, I really am excited and ready to meet the new addition to the family! Please, just come on! I have tried everything from Evening primrose oil, to spicy foods, eggplant Parmesan, herbal teas of Organic raspberry leaf, and yes, even nipple stimulation. If anyone knows anything that I have possibly missed that might help induce this labor (except Castor oil, please) let me know I am willing to give anything a shot!